Can’t my partner can take care of everything after the baby is born?
There are many ways your partner can take care of you after the birth, but it may be overwhelming if all of the household chores, grocery shopping, and cooking are heaped on only your partner. The best postpartum support teams I have seen include a relative or good friend in the home for the first week or two helping out with household duties and, if needed, child care.
However, not everyone has immediate family and friends in the area to lend a hand. For parents who do not have a great support system in place or need to fill in a couple of gaps, there are several strategies you can plan – before baby the arrives. If you already have a great support system in place, it would not hurt to add a few perks to your postpartum schedule.
Household Cleaning and Laundry
Housecleaner. Hiring a housecleaner a couple of times will help save your sanity. Ask your family or friends if they know someone they trust and like, or start calling around.
Laundry service. Don’t fret over the laundry when you can have someone drop off your dirty clothes and linens and have them picked up – clean and folded. Check with your local laundry mat, and ask them if they use fragrance-free laundry detergent or are willing to use your detergent. It is not terribly expensive.
Cloth diaper service. If you are cloth diapering, hire a diaper service if one is available in your community. You can always get back to cleaning your own diapers in a month or so.
Yard service. Honestly, if the partner is worried about the lawn – ask a neighbor or hire someone to mow a couple of times so that more time can be spent inside with mom. Or, let your grass grow.
Pet service. Ask or hire a neighbor to walk your dog. If you have a cat, have them change the kitty litter.
Meals and Cooking
Preparation of meals in advance. There is nothing more important than keeping yourself and your family fed. So, start cooking meals a few weeks in advance of your due date and freeze them. Be sure to divide the food into portions that are easy to unthaw.
Mealtrain.com. This is an excellent resource for organizing meals after your birth. Once you have set up your meal train specifications, likes, and dislikes – you can share it via Facebook, Twitter, email, your local contacts, and other social networks. Meals are something that everyone feels they can help with and is not confined to close family or friends. People love cooking for postpartum moms. But, you have to invite them to help and take part.
Emotional Support and Childcare
Postpartum Doula. A postpartum doula helps moms and families transition to having a new baby in the home. A doula can help you in the first few days or weeks with light housekeeping, errands, and, gosh, making you a sandwich for lunch. While physical help is beneficial for new mothers, the postpartum doula’s professional training enables her to offer education to the new family on breastfeeding, baby care, postpartum healing tips for mom, and more. She is invaluable for a sometimes utterly overwhelmed mom who just needs to take a shower or a nap.
Join a breastfeeding group. Joining a breastfeeding group while you are pregnant will enable you to connect with other breastfeeding moms. Breastfeeding can be lonely, and sometime you may have questions that another mother may have just the right answer.
Join a mom’s group. Joining a mom’s group is often beneficial for new moms needing the advice, support, and friendship of other mothers. A mom’s group may also help you build connections so that, at some point, you can plan a play date for your child.
(A Note on Groups): When seeking support from groups, be sure it is positive support. There is far too much mom-shaming going on. You deserve to be listened to and supported.
Enlist great-grandma. Niece. Family friend. Known baby sitter or mother’s helper. These are people you may not think of immediately, but think about ways they might be able to help. Great-grandma, for example, may not be able to clean your house, but she could make you a sandwich, hold baby while you shower, clean up a few dishes, fold some laundry, and chat. If you have a relative or friend who has a responsible teenager, pay them a small amount of money to play with your other children or hold baby while doing some self-care. They are also great at helping with light household tasks, like vacuuming, sweeping the floor, or taking out the trash. Some teenagers are very experienced in being around babies and can be a great mother’s helper.
Set up a postpartum nest. Set yourself up so you do not have to get up and down to grab what you need. Have a caddy with diapers, baby wipes, nipple cream, snacks, water, and other items you might appreciate having on hand.
Resources
You can find several online postpartum articles generated by pregnancy and birth organizations and private practices to help answer your questions. Doulas often provide articles on postpartum care and support, as do some midwives. Postpartum support dedicated only to postpartum care for mom, however, is limited. Check out the The Best Postpartum Books and Resources here. Each book and resource offers a unique perspective on taking care of you – after baby arrives.
