Whether you have your baby at your home or a birth center, there are many ways your birth team can assist you with your needs. Here are some possible roles that your friends and family can help with at the birth. It is not necessary to have a large number of helpers.
Think about filling the following roles for people who:
- WILL BE watching or attending the birth.
- WILL NOT BE watching or attending the birth.
One or two people can fill several roles. Choose one or two people who are Jack/Jill of all trades.
Labor Support
If you do not have a doula, consider asking someone to help you with labor support. This person should stay attentive to the mother and provide comfort measures and verbal encouragement. The support person should also encourage the birth partner’s participation. Most mothers, when having contractions, do not like to be alone. If the birth partner is out of the room, the birth support person stays with the mother if she desires.
Other ways the support person can help include offering the mother something to eat and/or drink during labor, putting cold washcloths on her face or neck, massaging her, and helping her move into different positions, etc. It helps to be physically strong to support the mother in various positions as needed. If asked, birth supporters can time contractions and write them down. They should assemble comfort items in advance, wear comfortable clothing, and be supportive of the midwives’ assistance to the mother.
Kitchen Duty
The person on “kitchen duty” will ensure that everyone on the birth team is fed, including the midwives and other helpers. Assign someone to “kitchen duty” who is willing to cook healthy meals at your home or bring in home-cooked meals. There should be plenty of veggies and fruits for the midwives to munch on. They will be working long hours and need the energy to keep them going. A treat, such as dark chocolate, will be much appreciated.
The kitchen duty person should also keep the kitchen and eating areas clean. At a birth center, it may be necessary to heat a meal or get take-out food for the mother and birth team. This person may also be responsible for making sure the mother eats a substantial meal after the birth, no matter what time of day or night the birth occurs.
Communicator
It is very common for family and friends to call or text a mother when they find out she is in labor. This is not the time for mom, or her partner, to continually keep everyone up to date. Choose someone with a level head and a strong personality to intercept/place phone calls and text messages.
Photographer
Many families appreciate having photographs of the childbirth process. If you choose to hire a professional photographer, arrange this early on in your pregnancy. If you are not hiring a professional photographer, ask someone on your birth team to take pictures. Be clear about what you want or do not want, such as graphic or non-graphic photos, or just photos after the baby arrives. If someone is taking pictures from their smart-phone, be clear about whether they can share them.
Music
Put your cha cha on or get out the zen! Mothers the world over find music helpful during labor. A mix of calming and upbeat music is nice. The music person keeps it playing, per the mother’s wishes.
Running Errands
If the family or midwives need or want something, this person goes to get it. Sometimes it requires making a quick run to the grocery store, pharmacy, restaurant, or picking something up from home. They should be willing to miss the actual birth if it happens to occur while they are gone.
Childcare
When having a home birth, a significant role is that of caring for the children during labor and after the the baby is born. Some parents want their children to be nearby for the birth. Children may often feel more comfortable in another room. Keep in mind that birth sounds can be unusual, even if the child has been prepared beforehand. An adult person trusted by the child can comfort and inform them. The caregiver must be willing to miss the birth if the child needs taken care of elsewhere.
Note: Arrange childcare early on in your pregnancy. Also, birth centers may have policies on children attending the birth. Ask.
24-Hour Helper
After the birth, the mother and family need an adult to stay with them for 24 hours while they rest, so that if the partner needs to attend to business, then someone will be on hand to help the mother to the bathroom, etc. During the first 24 hours, she may feel dizzy or tired when she gets up. Keep mom’s blood sugar up by regularly offering her healthy meals and fluids. Also, the family needs to eat.
Home Birth Laundry Duty
Homebirth sometimes generates a relatively large amount of very soiled laundry. Someone needs to treat this laundry immediately. Return laundered items to their proper locations.
Home Birth Bathroom Cleaner Duty
The bathroom the mother uses needs to be extremely clean. There needs to be paper towels and unscented pump soap at the sink, and a clean trash can with an unscented plastic bag liner close at hand. The bathtub, sink, toilet, and floor need to be cleaned with an herbal disinfectant as soon a mother goes into labor.
One toilet is preferable for the mother’s use only, with other helpers choosing another for their needs. If this is not possible, the toilet should be cleaned after each use. Make sure there is plenty of toilet paper.
BIRTH CENTER: Helpers will not need to do laundry or clean bathrooms. The midwives or assistants take care of all of that.
